I have been burning, yet you blame me for the scent of ash.  

How do I tell you what crowds within me, without my words sounding wrong?  

My mind, a stray deer,  

My pillow, too frail to carry my thoughts,  

My chest—tight with choking silence  

Something in my story aches, though I have spoken nothing.  

I closed my eyes to hold back the flood, and still, it rained.  

I am lost. I can never return to who I was.  

You carved wounds into my heart, and the pain lingers endlessly, obstructing, unmoving.  

You left scars no one can soothe.  

I looked at you with warmth, with compassion.  

Tried to reproach you, but words fail; you will never understand.  

Exhaustion swallowed me whole— between me and peace, endless roads stretch.  

Behind the distances,  

A country that wounds me yet shelters me.  

A house haunted by silence.  

A hand that lets go, another waving farewell.  

And sighs known only to me.  

A wound too deep.  

Warmth seeps through my body,  

The tremors of my heart— shrinking, curling beneath my ribs,  

Trapped in a grip no one can unbind.

لقد كُنت أحترق بينما
جئتَ تلومني على رائحةِ الرماد
كيف سأخبرك عما أحتشَد فيّ
بطريقة لا تبدو فيها كلماتي موحشة إن قُلتها
فعقلي كغزالةٌ شاردة
ووسادةُ سريري لم تحتمل ثقَل الكلام
وصدري مليءٌ بالغصات
شيء ما في قصتي مُوجعٌ
مع أنّي لم أقل شيئًا
أغمضتُ عيناي كي لا تفيضَ
فأمطرَت
إني تائهة
لم أعد قادرة على أن أعود كما كنت
قد فعل الكثير بقلبي
ولازمني الألمُ
وتعرقلتُ على مدارٍ مستمر
سبّبت لي جروح لم يستطع أحدٌ إخمادَ ألمها
نظرتُ إليك بحرارةِ عطفٍ
أحاول معاتبتك لكن بلا جدوى لن تفهمني
مرهقةٌ أصبحتُ
‏بيني وبينَ الطمأنينةِ
‏دروبٌ طويلة
‏وخلف المسافاتِ
‏بلادٌ تؤذيني وتؤويني
‏بيتٌ مسكونٌ بالصمت
يدٌ توقفت عن التشبثِ
بيدٍ أخرى تلوّح بالرحيل
‏وآهاتٍ لا تعرفُ سواي
‏جُرحٌ عميق
حرارةٌ تغزو جسدي
فنبضات ورعشةُ القلب تُسمع
وهي تتقلصُ من وراء أضلُعي
وما مِن شيء قادرٌ على انتشالي من هذا الخناق!

About

Dana Flaifl is a nineteen-year-old poet in Gaza who dreams of a simple, safe life where she can achieve her dreams. She writes: “Last year, I was supposed to finish high school and begin university. But war stole my father, leaving the six of us without our moon. All I have left is writing—and through it, I resist.” Her poems have appeared in Al-Yamamah and Arab Lit & Arab Lit Quarterly.

Najwa Sadi Juma is a Palestinian writer, poet, translator, educator, and women’s rights activist. She is a member of the General Union of the Palestinian Writers and a Board Member and the Head of the Cultural Forum at the International Palestinian Creativity Foundation. She has published two short‑story collections—Shut Off and Wings of Fear. She participated in editing and translating 48: Palestinian Short Stories with a group of Palestinian translators. In 2021, she was awarded the prestigious Jean‑Jacques‑Rousseau Fellowship from Akademie Schloss Solitude in Stuttgart.

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